Yes, yes, I know, it’s been quite while since I’ve posted… again. Unfortunately I’ve only had one trip to speak of and with the COVID pandemic, I’ve rather had my hands full delaying me writing this given a lack of time, energy, and motivation. Fortunately I was able to get this trip in right before all hell broke loose with COVID and not be detained returning to the mainland. On the down side, I’m writing this from home when I was supposed to be in Krakow seeing System Of A Down, Zakopane, and hiking the Tatra Mountains, but I digress. There were multiple reasons for this trip. It was the first real trip since my 2019 brain surgery, it was a chance to meet up with a friend from work, and finally it was purely to escape, recharge, and go off the beaten path. However my overall plan, which seemed to be a great idea, turned into a comedy of errors making for a very interesting trip to say the least.
The great idea in question was to save some money and instead of renting a car and hotel, I happened upon a company that rents conversion vans that are used for both transportation and a place to sleep, ideally by the beach. Everything that I could research showed this to be financially savvy and allow me to stay off the beaten path. But as they say, the best laid plans of mice and men, yadda, yadda, yadda. The comedy of errors started even before I left. Two days before my plane took off I get a call from the van company sayin the van I reserved was damaged, in the shop, and not available. I was told I they would not have a van for me until 2 days after I arrived. What’s more is that they had no back up plan. When I asked what I’m supposed to do for those 2 day, they said I had to figure it out. To which I said, no they had to get me accommodations and car to use for the first 2 days. This was not promising.
The day of my flight also had its own issues. My originally flight was canceled due to weather in my layover city. I had to book a new route which delayed my arrival by 2 hours. Fortunately, that went very smoothly. American Airlines sent me an email advising me of my options and I rebooked everything quite quickly. On arrival in Honolulu I was met by a driver for the Van Company who picked me up at the airport. I was advised I would be using his car for the 2 days (which was very nice of him but felt bad his company put him out like that) and they had an Air B&B room set up for me at the North Shore town of Haleiwa. Well, ostensibly they arranged a room. I was told to text the owner of the house when I was 10 minutes out, which I did. However I got no response from the owner. When I arrived at the house, I was not really prepared for what was to come. I walked into a rather disheveled house, to my right was high looking teenage surfer dude cooking instant Ramen noodles, to my left another dude sitting at a table, and at my feet numerous cats running in and out of the house. I don’t know if these are house cats or feral cats (something I know was an issue in Maui when I was there prior). In talking to surfer dude, I can tell my arrival is not expected in the least and he is unsure where I would be sleeping as the rooms are all taken. Just as he says that, a door in the back opens and a short older man reminiscent of Danny DeVito in Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia comes out holding what is tantamount to cheese cloth yelling, “YOU CALL THIS A BLANKET!!!”. I’m half thinking I’m getting punked. That the owner is going to emerge suddenly saying, “Ahhhh, we’re just fucking with ya!”. Honestly, I didn’t give it a chance. I said I’m going to my car to get my bags and I never return. I hopped on my iPhone and got a room at the Kapolei Hampton Inn for two nights.
In hindsight, that was the best move I could have made. I was jet lagged from work and the flight, I was in great need of a shower and a clean bed. I also needed a day to just chill and take it easy. So for the next day and half, I just chilled. There is not much around Kapolei anyway. I hit the pool and drank at the bar that first day. The next morning I did drive to see Pearl Harbor. Word of advice, while tickets to see the USS Arizona are free, you need to get there very early to get them. They go quick. I was there at 10AM and next available tickets were for 2:30PM which was too late for me as I had to pickup the van. I instead opted for the aviation museum. As I have always had a thing for fighter jets, this was right in my wheelhouse and very enjoyable.
I actually picked up the van and dropped off the car on the BYU campus located on the NE section of the island. Now that I think about it, it seems kind of shady. The van was what I expected. It was a mid to late 90’s conversion van. Nothing special. Bed in the back, cooler, beach chairs, etc provided, AC, halfway decent radio I could charge my phone with, and not much else. On the down side, it was a rough ride, the breaks were quite mushy, the passenger side view mirror would not stay in place, the windshield wipers made the view worse when it rained, and it was kind of beat up on the outside. On the plus side, I think all of those things helped me fit in a great deal more. If you haven’t been to Hawaii, there is a sub-population of homeless people, some live out of their vehicles (another thing I experienced in Maui) and some live out of tents. So when I spent my first day at Waimānalo Beach Park and happened upon a man shooting up in the public bath house, I wound up having a nice conversation with the guy instead of a scary moment. My initial plan was to just drive place to place on the island, eat at roadside food stands, and park on the beach at night to sleep. I wasn’t quite able to do the latter for a couple of reasons. First, the next beach I found was Kailua Beach. It was absolutely pristine and gorgeous. Grass and trees grew in the dunes providing plenty of shady areas if one wanted to get out of the sun. The restroom / bath houses were very clean and well maintained. The water and views picturesque. I was so taken by the beach that I wound up spending most of my time around there. The second reason is a bit more entertaining. Despite my research, I quickly realized every beach on the island had signs stating it was illegal to park and/or sleep on the beach. Yeah. I guess I need to do better research next time. And they mean it. The first night I parked in just the parking lot of Kailua Beach and at about 12:30am had a friendly knock on the van by the local PD telling me I had to move along. I imagine that helped me fit in even more. Not too worry, I was able to find a good spot along a park near the beach to park and sleep each night. Not quite on the beach but close enough to still hear the wave. As stated before, I was also on O’ahu to see my friend Kelly. Kelly and I worked together in the ER for several years before she moved to Hawaii. She is one cool cat, a great nurse, and we got along great at work. That said, I had a black cloud over me at the start of this trip so the comedy of errors did not take a hiatus the night we hung out. There were many places she wanted to show me. The first was a particular restaurant near her. Unfortunately it was a first come first serve restaurent and when we arrived there was a 2.5 hour wait for a table. After some debating, we decided to bag the restaurant idea and head to a jazz club in Honolulu. Mind you, if you think finding parking in NYC or other mainland city is an issue, Honolulu appears to be it’s own beast when it comes to parking. After finally finding a spot, we had a bit of walk ahead of us. It should come as no surprise to know that when we arrived at the jazz club, it was closed. Mind you, their website showed they were open and had a list of bands playing that night. Fret not, Kelly had the situation well in control and had plan C already in the works. While not a jazz club, we wound up at another bar and experienced possibly the most bizarre dance party I have ever witnessed. On one side was an older white crown dressed in clothes too tight and too young for them. While I can’t be 100% sure, the other side seemed to be ex-Yakuza. Regardless, everyone met in the middle and fun was had by all. I’m not usually a dancer but if they are going to play Groove Is In The Heart, I’m going to get my groove on. Though the night did not go nearly as planned, I would not change a thing. It was so great to see my friend. Miss you Kelly. The remainder of the week was spent meandering around the island to various locations. I hit the West Shore, the light house trail at Makapu’u, Mokoli’i island on the East Shore, and Honolulu again on my very last night. I still found myself going back to Kailua. I just adored the beach there. There is still so much more to see that I did not get a chance to. The island is indeed gorgeous, especially the east side of the mountains. As much as I enjoyed it there, if I was forced to choose between O’ahu and Maui, I would go with the latter. Unfortunately there were many places on O’ahu that remind me of the mainland US, especially Honolulu and Kapolei. While every beach seemed to have it’s own restrooms and bath houses no matter how small, there was a great variety in how clean and well maintained they were kept. I felt Maui was much more relaxing, had more unique beaches, and no areas that were built up like the mainland US. Granted, I was there in 2007 so things could have changed a great deal since. As for the van life, I probably would not do that again. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great time doing it. I just wish the island was better set up for it. There are no places that cater to vans similar to RV sites we have on the mainland. Combined with it being against the law to park overnight on the beach or on beach park property, it makes it very difficult. In talking to the company, they said most people just stick to the North Shore. I guess the rules are a bit more relaxed there. However, as a means to see the whole island, it just doesn’t seem to work well. I wish I could tell you when and where my next destination will be but for obvious COVID reasons, all my travel is on the back burner. Take care and stay safe all.